I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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