ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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