Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
