If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
