what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
