News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
