i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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