You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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