If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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