Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize