ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
time to smoke my breakfast
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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