Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
