there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
