He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
