help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
