Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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