I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
