if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have feelings that need drinking.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
