your room smells of hookers.
And success
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
