so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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