He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
