i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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