playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
