question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I stole a fireplace last night.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
