You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize