You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize