i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
