She is in my trunk
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize