Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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