in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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