I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
