At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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