I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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