btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm passing your future prison.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
