those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Randomize
