I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
