and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
