We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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