you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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