is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
