We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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