sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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