doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
