alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
