well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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