You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
