Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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