i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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