I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
