i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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