I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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