Even water is tasting like jack daniels
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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