guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
