I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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