I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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