Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
