I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
