just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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