can we get nightvision for the apartment?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
