I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I supernannyed him into submission
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
