You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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