either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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