none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
