Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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